I was being numb...I know it hurts but I couldn't feel the pain anymore. I know I was hurting- bleeding profusely. I have died so many times but not the love I have so long buried in the deepest recessesof my being..How can one be truly alive when a part of his soul has forgotten life itself? There were questions but no one had an answer. No- there were answers but the Heart has chosen not to reveal it. Yes-there were questions, lots of questions still that even eternity could not contain. Only Time can embrace all that is vague...
I could still recall how I came to know Love- vividly flashing before me were scenes of yesterday. I loved like I never loved before. He was all that my eyes could see. He was my all- He was all of me... It was strange how a young heart could love like that at such unexpected time. In my youthfulness, I experienced the most wonderful thing anyone could only dream of- I fell in love. We fell in love. Then we started building castles of dreams. I fell really hard. I loved without question, without premises, without making demands. I loved- no regrets..If I would be given the chance to live my life all over again- I would still choose to take that road. Along the way, I have stumbled a lot of times. I got bruised and wounded. Each pain, each hurt made me what I am now.
Where has Love gone wrong? I don't know- I don't really know.. Can't Love be a reason enough to sustain what is lacking? To heal the other of all the pains and bitterness? To mend what was shattered? To make the other believe that his brokenness will only be healed by the One aboveif only he will let Him be... And I will understand- He will understand. In time, both of us will understand. And soon, we don't need to ask and we will know...The Heart will just know.
I knew inside, the feeling has not left me...it may have been in deep slumber but it had not died. The flame may have been out for a while, but not the warmth- not the glow. I thought I had moved on and fully let go of every bit of Him but I was wrong. I was struggling, battling with this feeling ever since only to find myself fighting the battle alone. I thought I had won..I have been defeated by my own emotions...
I have not yet healed of the past though I put a face that I already was...and some have believed- but not Me. I sought for love- it was hard. It was like looking for a pebble in the sand or a drop of water in the ocean. I took every chance- hoping it can fill up what was void. I made myself believe that I was happy- that everything was fine only to be disillusioned. I tried to give the love they think they deserve. I did, but not enough. I can't seem to love the way I had loved the first time- loving with all my heart..loving to the fullest. It hurts me more to know they were hurting.
Now, I know that the only person who could make me understand and see clearly aside from Him is that same person who has caused me pain..that same person I had loved so much...that same person who has hurt the most...
In time, all wounds will be healed...broken hearts would recuperate..No masks needed no pretensions and the heart would know if it's finally Home...
I could still recall how I came to know Love- vividly flashing before me were scenes of yesterday. I loved like I never loved before. He was all that my eyes could see. He was my all- He was all of me... It was strange how a young heart could love like that at such unexpected time. In my youthfulness, I experienced the most wonderful thing anyone could only dream of- I fell in love. We fell in love. Then we started building castles of dreams. I fell really hard. I loved without question, without premises, without making demands. I loved- no regrets..If I would be given the chance to live my life all over again- I would still choose to take that road. Along the way, I have stumbled a lot of times. I got bruised and wounded. Each pain, each hurt made me what I am now.
Where has Love gone wrong? I don't know- I don't really know.. Can't Love be a reason enough to sustain what is lacking? To heal the other of all the pains and bitterness? To mend what was shattered? To make the other believe that his brokenness will only be healed by the One aboveif only he will let Him be... And I will understand- He will understand. In time, both of us will understand. And soon, we don't need to ask and we will know...The Heart will just know.
I knew inside, the feeling has not left me...it may have been in deep slumber but it had not died. The flame may have been out for a while, but not the warmth- not the glow. I thought I had moved on and fully let go of every bit of Him but I was wrong. I was struggling, battling with this feeling ever since only to find myself fighting the battle alone. I thought I had won..I have been defeated by my own emotions...
I have not yet healed of the past though I put a face that I already was...and some have believed- but not Me. I sought for love- it was hard. It was like looking for a pebble in the sand or a drop of water in the ocean. I took every chance- hoping it can fill up what was void. I made myself believe that I was happy- that everything was fine only to be disillusioned. I tried to give the love they think they deserve. I did, but not enough. I can't seem to love the way I had loved the first time- loving with all my heart..loving to the fullest. It hurts me more to know they were hurting.
Now, I know that the only person who could make me understand and see clearly aside from Him is that same person who has caused me pain..that same person I had loved so much...that same person who has hurt the most...
In time, all wounds will be healed...broken hearts would recuperate..No masks needed no pretensions and the heart would know if it's finally Home...
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