ENTWINED

God fashioned from his image & likeness thousand of souls
Each will know…
Each will discover…
What LIFE and LOVE is all about..

Then emerged two souls from multitude..
Oblivious of each other’s existence
Unaware of each other’s predicament
Little did they know…
Their lives would be…entangled

One soul came to be…he went through storms and flood
He was wet all over-drenched in the rain
His feet soaked in the mud
He was tired and weary
But no- he never gave up and continued his journey…

Along the way a heart saw him in distress
She came and took him from the mire
He recuperate- she followed him
They were together before they knew it…

Another soul came to be…she was young yet buoyant
About life and its complexities
When she learned to walk on her own
In her delight, she forgot to wear her slippers on

She traversed through grassy grounds
Barefooted- she took each step boldly & undaunted
She played through hurdles and blocks
Carefree & lighthearted- she savored each joyous moment

In the middle of the fun
She felt a sudden tingling sensation under her feet
A pain so incomparable that numb her
A sharp object punctured her sole

Misty-eyed, she stopped walking
Her feet now bleeding
How could she not noticed?
How could she be so blind?

She looked at the path
She has traversed
It has been a long journey
And what is ahead is inconceivable

She suddenly felt lost
She never felt this alone
She now felt empty
Her mind opened to reality

How she had wished to go back
How she had wished to never took that road
How she had wished she knew
The thorns and spikes that lies ahead

She continued, now slowing down her pace
For the first time she had seen a different view
She had never noticed how the stars
Shone before or catch a glimpse of the moon

She had only look at how dark her pathway is
She had only felt the chill, the dread, the fright
But behind that she failed to recognize
The mellowness, quietude, & stillness that lies within

She glanced at her side
That one soul came to be
That one soul came unnoticed…
That one soul she hadn’t known

They were intertwined- their lives are
They looked at each other as if
Finding love the first time
It was like a bolt of lightning…
Striking them at their very core

They were caught unaware

They moved on-

But unsure where this road leads them

No one knows...

Until then-

What their hearts know

Is that their lives will always be...

Entwined.

BENCH

I thought she was the usual gal...

But in her simplicity

She exudes more than what the naked eyes could see

In her forbearance, she radiates what

Real beauty is...

She is bench...Silent...Deep...

Some people might termed her as exceptional.

Young, yet accomplished

But she has always displayed humility

In all her works.

Recognizing a greater power above.

She may be tough outside,

But when she's on her own

She is like a baby

Wanting to be cradled...wanting to be wanted...

She is like a child- feeble...fragile...

When hurt she would come running

Home almost always bleeding.

She has grown numb...

She may be brilliant in equations and formulas

But not when it comes to problems of the heart.

It is her weakest area

It would take another heart- with all its pureness

and sincerity

To engulf all her insecurities...

A loving heart that is...

Who could see beyond her

Imperfections and flaws

...A heart who could see through her.

That's bench...

BEFORE SUNSET

This is a love story, an original composition with a twist- read on...





It's 5'oclock in the afternoon

The sky is pale gray

Sending signs of a bad weather

It felt heavy...


Heaven may have felt my excruciating agony

Heaven may have heard my silent cries

The clouds may have hidden themselves

Behind the layers...


Their time was up.

They already had enough

Too display their usual grandeur

It was time to retreat...


A sudden surge of tears stream down my face

Putting a halt to my thoughts

Then a soft breeze blew my wet cheeks

It came to me... 5.15pm- not too bad.

The sky was now painted with colors of tangerine and pale yellow.


My heart leaped

I knew I had to hurry up

I had to see her before dusk

I had to meet her before darkness envelop the night

I had to...I need to...before the angels close their eyes

Or before the stars appear on sight

I had to tell her...before the sun kiss the horizon

Before the sun hides its glaring face...before the sun ever sets...


Indeed, I was on time

She was already there...sitting on the familiar bench

Staring from afar with that pretty face now tear-stricken

She was still lovely as that day

We first met

Incomparable...I have never seen such a beauty

The prettiest sight heavens might have missed

I was love-strucked...

I knew from that day on

She will dwell inside of me.


She did...


I am what she has made of me.

If there is such a place splendid than Paradise,

It would be in her arms.

If there is such a life beyond this

It would be in the silent and serene

Reality that I had loved her

More than love itself...

Nothing could ever conquer it.


The clock of life must have stopped ticking,

The wheel of time must have stopped spinning,

But not the rush of emotions-

Of deep longing...

Of intense yearning...


I can't seem to move from where I was standing

My feet were heavy

As if weighed down with fetters...

I was inches away from her

But we were like worlds apart.


I found myself sitting next to her

A cold shiver run through me

It's 5.40, yet the sun was still hanging in there

As if not wanting to bid goodbye

Even if it knew, it had to go for a while...


Heaven must have known...

Heaven must have understood.

The sun would not set

Unless IT IS FINISHED...


I looked at her

I wanted to kiss her until

We couldn't breathe anymore.

Her warm embrace caresses me

As if not wanting to let go...

I missed her...so much...


How could I tell her

To free herself from the misery.

That I was sent from heaven

And now my time is up.


Like the sun, I too must set

I, too must find repose

I, too must rest...


Then a little child came to her.

With three white roses in her hand.

Shocked, she held it slowly

Wondering where in heaven

It must have fallen.


With a gesture, the child whispered,

"From a man in white...he told me

to give those roses to you..."


And she knew it.. she understood..

She wept like she never wept before.

I wept with her...only in silence.

In a soft but clear voice

She uttered, "Sweetie, I can't see the sun anymore.

I know it's time for you to go... I'm letting you go..."

"I know these roses are from you.. I love you still"

"I know you are always here... with me."


I stared at he sky...

The sun has already set.

It would be another long dark night.

But not in the place where

I supposed to be.


I knew this lifetime isn't the end

Like every dusk has its dawn.



Tomorrow the sun will rise

In his perfect time...It will never have to set again...

Heaven

I looked at the sky

Feeling cold...

Gray-hued and cloudless

It's past 4...

I hadn't seen the sun shone

But I thanked heavens

It rained...

I's relentless outpouring

Reminded me of my own

I have not learned the art

Of suppressing

The tears...

The pains...

The hurts...

Just like heavens

I let go of the emotions

I have been trying to hold back

But cannot.

I submit to the outcry

of my inner being that I have

Been trying to stop

But cannot.

And I wept.

I cried.

Not just my heart's out

But of my soul's.

And only heaven could see...

And only heaven could hear...

In silence would the weeping be.

LOVER'S CROSS

This is Love Fought - two people finding each other; going through life's tough times; and love prevailing in the end.

I'm living in a world so chaotic

Full of confusions and perplexity..

In my childhood I was taught

"Go with the flow or be drifted away..."

I walked down the road of life

It was not easy

The surrounding was rosy

But equally thorny

Many times on my journey

I stopped to look at the view

In my amazement, I tried picking out the flowers

But careless as I am, I got pricked and wounded

I paused to think of those moments

When I got enticed and tempted

But LIFE is here to show me

That Beauty alone can be deceiving

I moved my way onwards

I come across stony and rocky grounds

I thought my sole could withstand

The pressure and strain below the earth

I paused to think of those times

When I have become so assertive and self-assured

As if I have never need anyone

As if my strength alone would suffice

I tried running this time

To immediately reach the end

But little did I knew

One step made me fall two steps backward

I stopped to think of those instances

When I have raced my way through life

Always in haste, always on the run

As if I am the Master of Time

In this lonely voyage

I got tired and exhausted

I looked for a place to rest

In my quest, I saw bodily figures instead

Maybe God may have heard

The utterance of this lonesome heart

Long have I waited

That He would bless me a dear one

Someone who would walk with me

Someone who would understand

Someone who would let me see again

The GREATER things in this life

I tread towards their direction

I was surprise to see three identical forms and statures

Standing there, as if waiting

Standing there in anticipation

I paused to think of those occasions

I was faced with the same dilemma

Granted several options

I have to settle then which decision to take

Without further thought

I took the hand of the coy and timid one

It was my heart who made the choice

It was my heart who whispered, "he is the one..."

He readily gave his hand

With a sweet smile he looked at me intently

My heart has never been this blissful

My heart has never felt this serenity

We traversed together

Through rivers and streams

We made it through the first lap

Never feeling tired nore weary

Somewhere along, each step became heavy

Each stride became burdensome

There were hurdles and blocks ahead

That our feet find difficult to leap

His hand slipped through my fingers

I lost my balance

I fell

It was too late to catch him...

I was left behind..he went on and walked ahead

I rest my face on my lap

With warm tears flowing freely

In sobs, I whispered, " God, help me..."

I paused and think of him

Could it be a mistake?

Could I be wrong?

How could it be when it feels so right?

I got up trying to catch him

I walked briskly as I could

I noticed petals of red roses on my path

This could be it I followed

I saw him sitting by a wooden shed

I rushed to him

Without a word, I hugged him tight

And held him close to me

"I waited for you

I dropped those petals for you to follow

I am here...I wouldn't leave you

We'll cross these lines together,"he mumbled.

The guy got something in his pocket...

A cross- a little silver cross.

He looked at me and said,

"HE will be our guide as we carry our own crosses..."

FOR THE LOVE OF YOU

The theme below is Love discovered- the realization of which can bring transformations to Life. A man finding love the least he expected it.

I was going through life

Unmindful, so detach with

My own self..with my own feelings..
Love was just a 4-letter word.

So blunt..hollow..ordinary

Little did I knoew

I'd fall the next victim..

So it happened..

I woke up one day..

Wearing a smile on my face.

I know it wasn't there before.

I looked sharply at my reflection

In the mirror

There was a glow on those

Brown eyes..

I know it wasn't there before.

I hurried myself up

There was vigor in those moves..

I know, i was sure it wasn't there before..

Then it came down on me..

Her name kept resounding on my mind...

Like lyrics from a love song.

Her face was all that I could see.

From the moment I'd ble heavens good night

Till I see the sun and its rays penetrating through

Her eyes were diamonds piercing into my very soul...

She was my all.. She was all of me...

This heart has finally found its half..

That's all I know and need to believe

Heavens and earth may pass away.

But not the LOVE I have long so waited...

LESSONS LEARNED

• You can’t stop anyone from hurting you, consciously or unconsciously. It’s the one single-most truth that you have to accept and live by. But you CAN stop hurting yourself and accept reality as it is. Don’t dwell in the pain- it kills. There will always be something good that will come out even in the most painful situation.

• In this world, reality is that after all that has been said and done; only You holds the Key to your Life… People may dictate your actions- they may judge your character but only you can ultimately decide for your own. You should know who you are and what you are made of- only then can you face the world without disguises, without pretensions.

• Happiness isn’t found elsewhere. It is not a thing that you have to chase like a child chasing a butterfly because the more it will elude you. Genuine Happiness is not found in things neither in other people- it is a state of being in terms with yourself. It is self-acceptance and being contented and appreciative of what Life has already given you. This does not contradict to striving for more of Life rather more of a complement. Happiness radiates when you do things that better yourself rather things that destroy you. You will be at peace when you know you have given your best shot at life and that is something people can’t take away from you.

IN DENIAL

This was originally written few years back when i was nursing a broken heart.. It's nice to looked back to those times when you thought LIFE had ended but actually it has just began...

I was being numb...I know it hurts but I couldn't feel the pain anymore. I know I was hurting- bleeding profusely. I have died so many times but not the love I have so long buried in the deepest recessesof my being..How can one be truly alive when a part of his soul has forgotten life itself? There were questions but no one had an answer. No- there were answers but the Heart has chosen not to reveal it. Yes-there were questions, lots of questions still that even eternity could not contain. Only Time can embrace all that is vague...

I could still recall how I came to know Love- vividly flashing before me were scenes of yesterday. I loved like I never loved before. He was all that my eyes could see. He was my all- He was all of me... It was strange how a young heart could love like that at such unexpected time. In my youthfulness, I experienced the most wonderful thing anyone could only dream of- I fell in love. We fell in love. Then we started building castles of dreams. I fell really hard. I loved without question, without premises, without making demands. I loved- no regrets..If I would be given the chance to live my life all over again- I would still choose to take that road. Along the way, I have stumbled a lot of times. I got bruised and wounded. Each pain, each hurt made me what I am now.

Where has Love gone wrong? I don't know- I don't really know.. Can't Love be a reason enough to sustain what is lacking? To heal the other of all the pains and bitterness? To mend what was shattered? To make the other believe that his brokenness will only be healed by the One aboveif only he will let Him be... And I will understand- He will understand. In time, both of us will understand. And soon, we don't need to ask and we will know...The Heart will just know.

I knew inside, the feeling has not left me...it may have been in deep slumber but it had not died. The flame may have been out for a while, but not the warmth- not the glow. I thought I had moved on and fully let go of every bit of Him but I was wrong. I was struggling, battling with this feeling ever since only to find myself fighting the battle alone. I thought I had won..I have been defeated by my own emotions...

I have not yet healed of the past though I put a face that I already was...and some have believed- but not Me. I sought for love- it was hard. It was like looking for a pebble in the sand or a drop of water in the ocean. I took every chance- hoping it can fill up what was void. I made myself believe that I was happy- that everything was fine only to be disillusioned. I tried to give the love they think they deserve. I did, but not enough. I can't seem to love the way I had loved the first time- loving with all my heart..loving to the fullest. It hurts me more to know they were hurting.

Now, I know that the only person who could make me understand and see clearly aside from Him is that same person who has caused me pain..that same person I had loved so much...that same person who has hurt the most...

In time, all wounds will be healed...broken hearts would recuperate..No masks needed no pretensions and the heart would know if it's finally Home...

RAIN

I originally wrote this dated Apr'06 when times were tough but I was able to get through...

And the rain pours...
So hard...over the rooptop


Over the boundless seas...
Over ME...

The sky wept again...
Droplets were like thousands of tears..
A manifestation that heavens might have
Felt agony...might have felt pain...
The way mortals do.

But behind the seemingly
Relentless outpouring
Is the fact that the world
Need it sometimes...

The sky must wail once in a while
The clouds must turn to gray...
The soil must be dampened every now and then...

And nature will rejoice...
Just as the living creatures
Would bow their heads
In thanksgiving...

The rain quenches every thirst...
The rain satisfies every longing...
They needed the RAIN
The way they needed the SUN.

For after all, after the rain
is the colorful rainbow...

And behind evear Tear
...Behind every Pain
...Behind every Ache
is the reality that
We need it sometimes...

And soon the rain will stop
And the pain would fade away...

I Regret...I Was Scared

This was my first composition when I was 13...I could still remember and I would quote from my RS class, “The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you love them.”

Long have I been pretending
That it isn't love that I'm feeling
But believe me it was never easy
For every now and then it keeps on haunting me

Long have I been denying
The fact that I am indeed falling
But please try to understand
Open my heart and the reasons you will find

I have always wanted to tell you how I feel
For you to know that it is something real
But everytime I try to
Fear hinders me from doing so...

I am scared to confess..
FOr you might think of me less
I'm scared that I might utter the wrong word and
That believing me you can't afford...

I m scared for you might laugh at me
And you will never take me seriously..
I am scared for once I open up and speak
You might turn away and leave.

I am scared that I will never gain your affection...
Instead nothing but rejection
I am scared that no matter how hard I try..
You just can't be mine.

I am scared that things will never be the same again...
And that our friendship will come to an end
I am scared that LOVING YOU
Might mean LETTING GO...

I am just scared- too scared
That's all I know
I'll have to wait until I'm ready to tell you so
"Give me time", says my mind pleading
"But until when?", asks my heart aching

Long have I been waiting
For this day when I can finally tell you everything
With enough strength I came to you
But before I could say anything
I was startled when you held my hand
And looked into my eyes saying that you're leaving...

At that very moment, I felt like the world will topple
My body froze, my lips trembled
Without a word, I looked straight into your eyes hoping
That everything was a joke and you're only kidding

But the last word has been said
The pain was real and my heart bled
Though it hurts, as the tears started to fall
I know it's time to let go after all...

"Why do you have to leave me now?"was all that I could ask.
Now that I'm ready to reveal, take off the mask.
You just stared at me and made no reply
But a mere "I'm sorry", as you bid goodbye

Yes-that's the truth that I have to accept
Though things turned out this way
There's nothing to regret
Except that I had waited so long to tell you what I feel
That I have become so reserved...
Though I know I have all the time in the world
I never tried still...

I regret...that I never gave my heart a chance
To tell you what's inside of me for once
I regret...that I have never been able to show you
How much I care
That I let fear overcome me
Now I'm all alone and in despair...

Wherever you are
I just want you and the whole world to know
That I love you and I always do...
If someday our paths would cross and you
Would knock at my door...
I'll never be afraid to open it.

When that time comes
I know, I'm stronger
Less prone to hurt and bitter...

For I have experienced the pain that's beyond compare
The experience of losing you...
When I decided to let go.

Tell me it's not yet too late
For God knows...

I REGRET...I WAS SCARED.